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Day: November 25, 2016

Local 

Takoma Park Grapples with Pokemon Outbreak

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Kate Stewart, the mayor of Takoma Park, is clearly exasperated by the latest outbreak of the Japanese scourge.  “We have small children afraid to go to parks, we have illegal fighting and gambling, we have a huge increase in our extermination budget, not to mention the cost of cleaning up Pokeman excrement all over town.  This really is Takoma Park’s Hurricane Katrina, or Sharknado or whatever the hell you want to call it.  We appealed to Governor Hogan for emergency funding to clean up this mess, but unfortunately the State’s…

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National 

Southwest Flight Implicated in Liquor Store Robbery

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Yesterday afternoon at around 4:00 PM Southwest Flight 210 was intercepted by the Texas Air National Guard and forced to land at Albuquerque International Airport.  The flight originating in Lubbock Texas and scheduled to land in Las Vegas at 5:05 PM was intercepted northwest of Lubbock soon after takeoff by two vigilant Air National Guardsmen flying an F-16 Falcon. The two guardsmen had been listening to a police scanner that alerted them to a liquor store robbery in southeast Lubbock at around 3:30 PM.  When they spotted the Southwest plane…

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